Ever think about it? A lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female.   Some examples: FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons. TYRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated. HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse     SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.   WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.     TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.     EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.   HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.   THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying