I haven't added my mood from the above list....as it doesn't include confused.
I have recently been showing signs on a health problem. I finally went to the doctor in the week and have been refered to a neurologist. I came home and decided to look on the web at diagnostic heath thingy's. This was a big mistake! I have all the symptoms of MS. I have managed to convince myself of this. I hope to god it isn't...I have my babies to look after...if something ever happens to me what would happen to them.
The eldest 2's dad walks right past them in the street and doesn't acknowledge them in any way...i do not understand him...i would die if i didn't see them. The babies dad also doesn't have contact...he was a result of contraception that didn't work correctly...this is not an excuse...yes i know i should of been more careful. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me...he's given me a reason to live. Don't get me wrong i totally adore the other 2 and would walk to hell and back for them if needed...but my baby..................
My mum is convinced that my problem isn't neurological. Her mother....my sweet caring adorable nanna...suffered with the same thing...it was a result of furred up arteries. My foot is so painfull at the moment. I could hardly walk on it this morning when i fell out of bed.
Maybe i should just calm down take a deep breath and pull myself together.............sorry i'm writing this how i'm thinking it!
You must all think I am a hypercondriac! I have, if the truth be known been really well for ages, it is hard to be ill when you have three children to look after. I hate asking my mum and dad for help...my clare is good to me. She is the sister i have never had. We are more like sisters than friends thats for sure.
Mum informed me yesterday that i should make a will so if anything ever happened to me the kids would be looked after...who is she trying to kid!! I made enquiries a while ago about one so they would have parental responsability for the kids if anything ever happened. The solicitor told me is wasn't worth the paper it was written on, and if anything ever happened to me the kids "fathers" could apply for guardianship even though they don't see the kids or support them in any way....So I am unsure as to what to do.
I will have to wait for my hospital appointment....haha will still be here in May 2006 waiting for it i expect!!
I hope you all have fantastic weekends.
Love you all too bits.
9 comments:
Hi Joanne, when you are feeling low it is easy to look on the dark side of things (I know, been there, done that and wore the t-shirt....ate the hat but it tasted awful), try to think positive, not easy when you are worried I know. As for the fathers, it is their loss ....it took my kids dad years to accept his kids were part of his life and we had been married 10 years when he left (kids 3 and 6)....he finally decided to have proper contact with them almost 12 years later! Think positive, my friend, it is called self preservation and I will be posting a poem about that later today.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/aniracj/StrannyDayze/
Hi Joanne its so easy to get down when you are a lone parent ,and no one to share ,although you ,are as you say luckyyou have a dear friend Clare and your Mum and Dad ,try to hang on in there ,it does get better with time ,your kids are babies now ,but you will all grow together ,stronger and stronger ............Jan xx
Hi Joanne, for some reason we always assume the worst first - The only thing you can do is wait for the results to come back....Hopefully they will not be so bad as you are thinking...(never a good thing to read medical books) when I was training to be a nurse I had every symptom in the book for whatever we were learning on that particular day, - or at least I thought I did...so think positive - calm down - and relax.......Ally
The worse thing a person can ever do is look up health conditions on the internet. I know! All you do is frighten yourself to death. Things might not be as bad as you expect or think they might be so try and remain positive.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/
Good morning Joanne...
I agree with Jeannette...never find something on the internet unless the doctor has told you for sure you have it...and I pray you do not have MS. So many things now seem to have the same symptoms...but are not. I am happy you will be seen...until then keep thinking good, positive, healthy good thoughts...do only what you can...and take the help offered. Love you from over here...you are in my prayers...hugs,
Joyce
Joanne, please just think positive and don't let your symptoms and your circumstances get you down. The kids are gifts from God to you. And if there should be something amiss...there are so many wonderful medicines to help make you feel better. Sometimes I think some of our symptoms are just stress related. I'm much older than you, and every joint hurts but I take a couple Ibuprofen every morning and keep going. I refuse to sit down and give up. Keep looking up ^.....Linda in Washington State
Joanne it's very easy to think the worst when you don't know for sure what's ailing you and that adds extra stress, so try to block that and wait for the appointment. I hope it won't be too long before it comes through. In thoughts, it is a confusing time especially when you've little ones to look after. Information on the net is nice but the Doc's know better so try to think positive, try not to let it worry you what you've read.(((( )))) Rache xx
Oh joanne you poor thing ((((((((((hugs))))))))))) I know it's too late to say this but please don't get worked up :-( I do the same thing, have something wrong read up about it and immediately think the worst. You never know, try to remain positive for your babies and I'm sure everything will be ok!!
((((( Joanne )))))
Get yourself to the Dr.s my dear.
There isn't much point in worrying until you know what you're dealing with, it may not be anything serious at all. I know that's easier said than done though hon. Take care, and do let us know what your Dr says.
Sara x
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