Saturday, 30 September 2006

I got this in an email today........

omg i thought......

then i read it properly!!!!!


If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do
not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks
within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetises the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms
your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses
subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It
will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
It will drink ALL your beer.
It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting
company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will
leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the
forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill
your skim milk with whole
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so
hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of
you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Send this warning to everyone.
If you are a blonde, this is a joke!!!
THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD Right now, as you read this, 17
Million Americans are having SEX! And look at you - you're on the

Thursday, 21 September 2006

phone rang at 1:15pm yesterday, it was Charlies school........

"Joanne, you have to come to school NOW charlie has had an accident and must go to hospital NOW!!!"

By the time I got there  (5 minutes) i was in hysterics.

There sat my poor boy in server pain holding his arm.

Off we go to hospital, he screamed everytime the car bumped.

"we are not going to look, he needs to go to the main hospital in ipswich for xrays. it looks like he has either broken it or dislocated his shoulder.!

great i thought mum and dad havent even left the bloody departure lounge and things are going wrong.

They put a sling on and gave him painkillers, the sling fell off as soon as he let go of his arm. he felt another pop.

when we got to the main hospital they couldnt find anything wrong, didnt even xray him so i think it was put out but went back in on its own.

He aches this today but will live!

guess how much i lost at weightwatchers!!!!!!!!

3 pounds!

I was so pleased, have been told my bub is looking smaller, so yay for me and my lettuce leaf!

take care everyone

Tuesday, 19 September 2006



Went to the doctors......

Might just as well of stayed home......

Bryce has looks at me!!!!!

Bryce sounds like he has a bad chest....he still just looks at me!!!!!

Bryce still cannot talk. drools constantly we think he might be tounge has a blank expression!!!!!

came out with steam coming out of my ears

was told that if he has a bad tummy its because he has a the doctor deaf? he has had a bad tummy for 6 weeks

he agreed after i reminded him of this fact that maybe it is milk affectinh him so to put him on a dairy free diet...harder said than done. we will work through it

was told that the rattle on his chest, and these are his words not mine, was SNOT ratleing in his windpipe....lovely I thought

as regards to his speech i was told under no uncertain terms that i have no idea what i am talking about.


bryce decided it would be a good idea to poo in charlies hat today as he couldnt make it to the potty quick enough, i can live with that, but i wasnt impressed when he needed to go again and decided to do it on my newly washed and dried WHITE washing. My boy needs his tummy sorted for sure!

phoned hospital up about bethanys tonsils. she will be going in for her op in november if not sooner. will be glad when its done.

Will catch up with you all later

love you all and thanks so much for all your comments and all the support you give me, and all the advice, and all the laughs ( you know who I mean dont you Ally!)

love always



Monday, 18 September 2006

BETHANY........Hospital appointment went ok. nothing to really tell you apart from they are going to ring ENT and try to ask if they can put the tonsil operation forward as they are soooo big and painful at the moment. They refused to give me any medicine to help with the sleep. and seem to think its all connected with the tonsils, and that she might have sleep apnea? ? ? ? i will now go to bed evry night and worry that she isnt breathing :( She gained weight AGAIN!  Don't know what i'm going to do about that. They offered a dietician again, but have seen them so many times there is nothing new they can tell me.

BRYCE..........Will be going to the doctors for sure tomorrow. the boys tummy is a complete mess and I am now going to demend an appointment for him at the hospital (again) to have it sorted. His bum isn't so raw tonight, but who knows what i will find in the morning after a nappy has been on for 11 hours......

CHARLIE.........Has been made vice house captain for his team at school!!!!!! I am so proud of him. He is still awake thanks to the adhd medication, so sara I am with you tonight if Jelly is up!!!

ME.........Have had back ache for 2 days, phoned doctor to see if urine sample was back, oh yes it is, oh no you are on the wrong medication. up to the surgery I go....No prescription for you here, I am told......Doctor must still have why was I told at 10 this morning there was one. Lets hope that by tomorrow I havent got a kidney infection,as i think thats the way its feeling at the moment, as mum and dad are off to cyprus on Wednesday for 2 weeks, and if I am ill there will be no one to help me! please dont say drink makes me gag!

Oh well I think I will go up to bed soon and watch tv.

Night Night everybody

Love you all so much




Sunday, 17 September 2006

so bryce is ill

he has a cough and runny nose...i'm not to concerned with this

the real problem is his tummy

i cannot remember if i have told you before but he had a bad milkalergy when he was a baby, when he had formula it would run out as quick as i put it in.

when he was around 18 months old it seemed to of dissappeared, although he still had a bit of a funny tummy it was nowhere near as bad as it had been.

he has been seen by a pediatrician who said he had toddler diarrohea, and that the child usually grows out of it

for months he seemed better although (sorry to be graphic here) he never done a normal poo. he has in the past few weeks got the problem back again.

it is so frustrating as i have managed to potty train him really well and he has never had an accdent yet, but he has no idea when he is doing a poo.

leave a nappy on i hear you say. tried that and the poo has burnt his bum and bits. at bedtime last night he could hardly walk for the pain on his bum it was so terrible to see him suffer so much.

i will take him to the doctors but am sure they will say go home

Bethany has also got a sore throat. the quicker they get her in and remove her tonsils the better i say, she has an appointment at the hospital tommorow with her peadiatrician so maybe he will be able to move things on quicker for the operation although I'm not holding my breath that this will happen.


love you all







silly entry....these are the important things in my life at the moment.

sunday love to you all

Friday, 15 September 2006

got weighed on wednesday

lost 1lb

fed up

thought i had lost more

never mind

will start to jog!

love you all

Sunday, 10 September 2006

I signed up to do a tribute to a man who died in the world trade centre.

I have honestly looked everywhere i can think of for information about this man....i cannot find any.

I can tell you that his name was Joseph Jenkins Jnr and that he was 47 and lived in New York

He was married.

He actually died in the trade centre so he must of worked there or was one of the many emergency people that rushed to help.

I can remember the day it happened as if it was yesterday....the memory will never leave me.

So I'm truly sorry my tribute isnt very good I would of loved to of made it special...but Joseph Jenkins Jnr I have been thinking about you today and am truly humbled that you had to die so tragically.


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Saturday, 9 September 2006

so....did you watch eastenders last night (sorry for those not in the uk who dont get it)

Last nights programme was like the memorys that i have after having Bethany. it was almost like watching a video of when she was born, except i'm not honey and kevins not Billy.

I had to sit through 2 visiting times and not be able to say what had happened to the baby as I had my nanna in the afternoon, who was off on holiday the next morning, and nanna and grandad in the evening. It eventually took my dad 6 weeks to tell my nanna and grandad that bethany had downs, as my nanna was very much like me a very emotional person, and even then they were only told as beyhany was being chrisyened and it would of been hard to try and hide it from them at the church and party afterwards.

nanny came straight round the next morning to see bethany for a look! lol. grandad didnt say much. she was the first greatgrandchild on both sides and the first girl on my mothers side since me so she was very special to all my grandparents. mums dad never got to see her.

I think a lot of the problems i had when i had bethany were because it was unnoticed during pregnancy, like honey.

you go through so many emotions all at one, shock, grief, sad, cross and yes happyness!! I did have a lot of that, still do!

When i was pregnant with both my boys i opted to have an amniocentisis. we were told after bethany that as there was no history of downs we were high risk of having another baby with problems. not neccessarily downs but anything chromosonal. Both boys came back as charlie had ADHD butI can live with that. The dilemma i had both times though was what would i do if anything ever came back positive! If i had of got a positive result would that of been fair on me.....or bethany?What if i had of had the tests and lost the baby, that is one of the risks, and it came back as a healty result?

 the night before i went in to have the test with Bryce i sobbed and sobbed to my friend....i wasnt going, i didnt want to know if anything was wrong. eventually after much disscussion she managed to convince me that i was right. I had it done, it was a nightmare much more painful than with charlie. was flat on my back for 36 hours afterwards.

I can honestly say i never ever expected my life to turn out like htis, but it IS getting better. since I have had Bryce my life has had a purpose again.

I want to thank you all for being so patient with me the last couple of days. I havent felt well now for a few weeks now and decided last night that maybe a trip to the doctor is needed to get some lovely prozac again just for a few weeks until i feel calm again. I dont feel calm much at the moment and my sleep is all over the place. will get myself sorted for sure this week.

I would like to wish Jeannette a wonderful birthday today, she was the reason i started my journal, and although sometimes i dont do an entry for a bit, I am always here, and have made some lovely friends, and it is all thanks to her. so you enjoy your day with the family Jeannette and give your boys a big squeeze from me!

Thanks for listening again everybody

Love you all


Thursday, 7 September 2006


I fell apart a bit earlier in my entry.

onlt really wanted to let people know what eastenders was about tonight.

I am sincerly sorry about the entryand i really hope i didnt offend anyone with what i wrote.

yes. I did watch eastenders, funny really as it was so true to life it was like watching a biography, they way she was told

I had a lot of visitors those 8 days in hospital, some just to have a look, some, heartbroken and some that just came because they loved me, this infact carried on for 5 weeks after she was born with barely a day going past without visitors.

Yes bethany is a lovely young girl, and at the moment probably not much different to having a normal girl who's 12 with a changing body and raging hormoans, but it has been hard, and not always a barrel of laughs, but was she was my first born even now i sometimes think "is that normal behaviour" or is it just Bethany being Bethany.

I could tell you such funny things about her, but can also tell you of terrible times, but i think from now on i will concentrate on the happy things and look forward to my baby girl being my bridesmaid, singing out of key at every oppotunity (please not in the church at the top of your voice), and generally having the most gorgeous smile even if i do see it when she is being very naughty!

I have read all your comments, twice, and am still undecided as to weather or not i should keep or delete the entry as when read back sounds as though it was from some deranged mad woman......what do you think?

I will leave you with this thought......bethany has more genes in her than anyone else, which is why the teqnical name for Downs is Trisomy 21, beacuse the set of genes 21 has 3 bits on it as appossed to 2 ( hope that makes sense), so there is more of her for me to love than if she had of been "normal"

Love you all so much.


I had 3 fig rolls instead of the chocolate? not sure if thats ok but it has got fruit in it so it must be a bit better!


Hello everybody

there were a couple of things i wanted to share with you.

1. baby bryce starts proper playschool tomorrow morning. He was going last term but it was only for 2 year olds one afternoon a week. tomorrow he will be with the big boys and girls. I hope he gets on ok. Do you think i will sleep tonight...i think not!

2 If you watch eastenders and dont want to know whats going to happen turn off now. say goodbye, dont read the next bit.........


have you all gone?




Honey and billys baby Janet has got downs syndrome. those of you who have read my journal from the start know how close to home this is for me, as my daughter also has this "condition" I have to be honest never ever got used to the idea that Bethany is "different" to everyone else. I never will Im truly not sure if I should watch eastenders at the moment as it is really going to be hard for me, but on the other hand it is just a tv programme, its not real, all totally ficticious (is that a word?) But i think it is going to open wounds that have never ever healed completely. It could be a good thing though and help with my greiving, yes i know she is 12 but do you ever get over something like that? In a way i know i'm am lucky because you can see she has a problem, even when she was a tiny baby people could see it...hell my whole family could see it before i had even been told and had all talked about it on the way home from the hospital.I resent the fact that i didnt notice it. thought she appeared different because i had such a bad time and she was born with forceps after 37 hours. who would look nice after having big lumps of metal wrapped round their head? I love her I know that, But i really really REALLY resent baby girls. why couldnt my baby girl of been normal????? why didnt the hospital notice anything. they founds several cycsts on her brain when i was pregnant....sent me home for 6 weeks to see what would happen, they dissappeared, I now know they are a poiter to having a chromazone abnormality. I hate the hospital, hate it more than anything. as soon as we step in it i either cry or become very defensive and irrational. I feel like crying

This isnt the sort of entry i normally do.........i always try to be happy. Think i should delete this....might do in a while.

A big sorry now if i have upset anyone.

I do like baby girls really...they just tug at my heart like you couldnt even believe.

sorry for all the spelling mistakes....I have got myself in a state and need a massive HUGH bar of dark 70% chocolate....cant have one.

love always


ps do i look thinner yet? 

Wednesday, 6 September 2006


the subject and mood says it all......

I have joined weightwatchers......

weighed loads more than i thought i would.......

Am so depressed i could eat anything....

resisited the urge....had tomatoes gerkins and ham????? was the only sensible thing i could find in the fridge.

will need to do a massive shop...and buy a steamer lol.

love you all


ps dont even ask what my weight was.....i've seen smaller baby elephants!!!!