Monday, 11 December 2006

ok I have something to share with might be something or nothing.

I have a lump

it is in my mouth

I have seen the dentist and was straight away refered to the hospital as it has been there for at least a month and seems to be growing still

It doesnt hurt

I asked the dentist was it a nasty, he said he needed it to be checked, and that they will have to cut it out.

about an hour after i left the hospital rang....have never heard from them that quick before after a it spooked me a bit.

I promise i am trying to not worry about it...but its hard not to!

I will keep you up to date with what happens.

aparrently another woman has been missing in Ipswich for over a week now. that brings it to 3 dead and 2 missing...terrible, really terrible.

i need to buy new dinner plates...I had 6 now have 2. one has dissapeared from the house, have no idea at all where it is. bryce broke one...he was trying to help tidy up, charlie broke the other. we have to eat in shifts lol

this is going to be such a busy week. am going out for a christmas dinner tomorrow with weightwatchers. have Bethany's carol service on Wednesday. bryce's first nativity on thursday morning....he is a shepherd. charlies school concert on thursday afternoon......he is a shepherd lol they will be wanting a sheep. A meeting with social services thursday afternoon. bryce has his playschool party friday morning. Bethany has the mencap party on saturday. have you managed to keep up!!!!????!!!!

I'm off now to play a game on my pc....i am a games didnt know that did you.

love you all to bits

folow on to last entry..................

It was just announced on the news that a 4th girl has now been reported missing in ipswich.

Please god let her be safe, this is just terrible, especially at this time of year.

I'm off to watch a live news conference about it all on sky news.

This is all a bit too close to home for my liking and is really freaking me out big time......mum said i was silly as its only been prostitutes that have been murdered and i shouldnt worry....doesnt make me feel any better as i'm mostly on my own in the house at night.

please pray for these women


i have just woken to find that there has been another murder.

this one is only 5 miles from where i live. that makes 3 in ipswich now. i am terrified i have to be honest.

i wish they could find who had done these terrible things.

Sunday, 10 December 2006

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions".
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."


appologies for not being round much lately folks......i dont cope too well this time of year.....sorry!

love you all more than u know


Tuesday, 28 November 2006

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine,
some good food and companionship. he goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hiss is in Sydney and mine is in Melbourne.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but he keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my husband where he wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" he said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, he shops.
6. he has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker
Then he said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!".
So I bought him an electric chair.
7. Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
8. I married Mr Right. I just didn't know his first name was Always.
9. I haven't spoken to my husbandfor 18 months. I don't like to interrupt him.

The last fight was my fault. My husband asked, "What's on the TV?"....
I said, "Dust!"

i found this and changed all the she's for he's, hers for his and wife to husband.......but it still makes sence!!!!!!! i think

Some things to ponder

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
13. Think about this..., No one ever says "It's only a game." when his team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

Thursday, 16 November 2006

hope you are all well

just wanted to share these with you all. they are the latest pictures of my baby's....charlies should be here too soon. Isnt my boy handsome!! Is a lovely pic of Bethany too!

Bethany is doing well. although she is very bored.

I am doing better although am soooo tired, but am having difficulties sleeping!!

Am undecided as to when Bethany should go back to school, they said 2 weeks at the hospital, which is tuesday next week. will probably send her on wednesday so she only has a short week.

Have now lost 8lb's at weightwatchers, so its all going slowly, been told thats better than loosing it quickly!!

me and shane have decided we might go to new york for a 4 night holiday after the wedding, depending on if we can save up the money and get the kids looked after. Have been looking at didnt think they would be that expensive. do you fancy a lodger Joyce, Lisa Jo and Jackie lol

Havent really got much to tell you because i havent done much lol.

love to you all and take care


Thursday, 9 November 2006

The above link will make you all laugh your socks off!!!!!  Best Friends


just to let you all know Bethany had her surgery as planned and everything went really well, she was a star! no tears (unlike me i cried for us both lol) and no tempers, just a very well behaved, relaxed little girl who loved all the attention!

She is pain free and eating as much as she would normally, infact if you didnt know you wouldnt even be able to tell she had an operation on tuesday. she vomited a couple of times last night which paniced me, but was ok, think it was just the after effects of the op.

I am on the mend now. When i woke on Tuesday morning i really felt bad still, so had decided i wouldnt go and that i would ask my mum if she would be ok on her own......think again! I got a call from dad at 8am to say mum couldnt come as she was really ill and couldnt move. so I pulled myself together, took a massive amount of paracetamol and ibuprofen and off we went. Shanes mum came with me which i was thankful for. Managed to get through the day (dont know how) on cola and coffee. When we woke on wednesday morning i was feeling so bad again i nearly passed out, so the nurses looked after Bethany while i sat outside on a bench at 7am in the morning in my nightie....i must of looked a sight! i then had a little cough and brought loads of blood up. decided there and then that i had better go to the dr's asap.

We were discharged really quick when i told them i was unwell and were home by 9:30. went to the dr and guess what i have......BLOODY TONSILLITIS! I have come out in sympathy with my daughter. I used to get a bad throat maybe once a year, but can never remember it being as bad as this, maybe its worse when you are an adult. Feel 75% better now!

Charlie was also sent home from school tuesday feeling ill with a temperature, he is better tonight. it never rains here it pours!

Mum is still feeling really bad. I am so worried about her, I wish she would visit the doctor.

I have to tell you that Shane has been so very good to all of us this week, my house has been like a hospital ward lol. both settee's with ill people wrapped up on them and even the floor was used for a bed at one point this week when i couldnt move! i have realised just how lucky I am to have him, and his mum was so good to me on tuesday.

Anyway it is getting late and i still have 4 nights of no sleep to catch up on so i will say goodnight to you all.



Monday, 6 November 2006


Ok tomorrow is the day Bethany has her surgery. just on cue I get the flu would you believe.

wont be an entry for a bit as i will be staying at the hospital with my girl and then will be looking after her at home.

Please everyone say a prayer for me and my girl. for me to be well enough for tomorrow and for Bethany ot be ok.

this is a massive prayer request, I know you will all help.

I have been crying for the last 2 hours as i seem to be getting worse not better.

Well I am off to lay on the sofa again.

Love you all so very much

Please think of us.

I am so scared.


Wednesday, 1 November 2006

can you hear me?

Hello all.

I have lost my voice

sounding like a little mouse at the moment

squeek squeek

When i talk my voice feels really strained

we found the shoes!!

he threw one on the roof of the school today.....bloody idiot....charlie i mean. They were only brought in September and cost £35. School wont go on the roof for me because of health and safety reasons, so somehow I have got to get a ladder to school tomorrow and get the shoe back as i cannot and will not buy another pair for him. He really is being a pain in the arse at the moment, I wish i could understand what was going on in his little head.

Thought I had better tell you that Bethanys operation isnt tomorrow now but on tuesdsay 7th November, next tuesday. couldnt remember if I had told you all or not!

She is going to be kept in overnight for definate, due to the fact that the earliest she will have it done is 1:30pm (if she is first on the list), and because she has a heart condition. I havent ever really mentioned this before as it doesnt cause any bother, so I tend to not think about it! She has a hole, which has been closing up, and a slight mitral regurgitation, sorry for the spelling. Basically oxygenated blood flows back on to the unoxygenated blood, but this also doesnt cause any problems. She saw the specialists from Guys hospital last year, they were so impressed with her heart that they dont want to see her now until 2010. She will have to have a massive dose of antibiotics during and after surgery to prevent any infection to her heart as this could be fatal if the hole gets infected.

I have got her loads of new stuff to take in.....a cd player, big headphones (she doesnt like the ones that go into the ear), 2 pairs of pyjamas, slippers, a nice warm pink blanket for her bed, and a couple of sticker books.

We have a very busy weekend, which i'm pleased about, as hopefully it will take my mind off the operation. I feel so bad about her having it done. she has had 7 op's before, but they never upset me as much as this one is. i think this is because there might be blood this time. the others were 2 for a squint, 3 on her ears for grommets, 1 on her finger and one to have teeth out.

I also keep having people tell me how terrible the tonsil operation is if you are not a young child.

I hope you are all ok and please wrap up warm!! It was 17 degree's in the car yesterday and only 4 this morning, so it looks like winter could at last be here!!

Love you all to bits



Monday, 30 October 2006


Do any of you know where charlies school shoes are????

we dont know either....what a good start to the day!

Sunday, 29 October 2006

I made that pic!!!!!

Please someone must know where i can get some fail safe tutoprials for psp....the ones that thickies can understand...cause i'm one of them lol.

lots of love and sunday hugs coming you way


Saturday, 28 October 2006

I made that picture go like that. I know its nothing special but i'm soooo proud that i managed to make something!

Love Joanne

Friday, 27 October 2006


A couple of you wanted to know what was special about my cake. so, here is a picture of it. I think it is so romantic, and different to any i have ever seen before.

Mine wont look exactly like the one you can probably wont have the round cakes on the corners as my wedding will be having 100 guests and not 1000!

will post pictures of the finished product after the wedding when we have the pictures.

I seem to have obtained a few new readers. so hello if you are new.....leave a link and i will visit you i promise!!

love you all


ps...... do any of you know where i can learn how to make all the graphics and pretty pictures that people use on their journal? I had a couple of links but lost them when the old pc blew up! Thanks

I am crying

This will be the last time I beg for someone to help me find my cathedral cake kit.


The company concerned have even rang me this morning to confirm they have it. It is all packed up and is now leaving to come to me.

Please all keep your fingers crossed that it doesnt get lost or damaged in the post.

I wont sleep until it arrives!

I want to thank my friend Darren (suffolkdar) who managed to track it down for me last night. I've been speaking to Daz near enough since I first come on line. he is a real friend.

I have told him he is coming to the wedding, and to bring his wife, because I want to buy him a drink, and give him a hug for being so clever.

I know this sounds silly but i cried when i realised the cake was going to happen, it really is a dream come true!

hope you are all ok.

love Joanne


Thursday, 26 October 2006

Have just had a message from paypal to say my money has been refunded as the item is no longer I dont have the cake of my dreams after all. have sent the company concered an email to ask why they list the product if its not in stock. wont get a reply.

so if any of you people see a wedding cake while you surf the net and its out of this world , email me the link, unless you are in the USA and manage to find the cathedral and trust me to send you the money.

love Joanne

Backstreet boys

my diet

As you all know i recently joined celebrity fat club...whoops sorry that is what my dad calls it. I meant weightwatchers.

I have been loosing weight....slow but sure seems to be my way.

I was thinking earlier that I would like to share some of the recpies with you thtar i have been trying

This first one has got to be the most delicious dish I have ever cooked....I didnt cook much up until recently, lived on tv dinners and junk, thats the reason I am so fat now.

Chicken and Mushroom Strogganof

i onion chopped

2 cloves garlic chopped

cookin 2 tablespoons of water to soften

turn up heat and add

12oz chopped chicken- cook to seal

Then add

1 teaspoon paprika

1 tablespoon worcester sauce

2 1/2 tablesppons brandy

10fl oz chicken stock

8oz button/sliced mushrooms

cook for approx 20 minutes or until chicken is cooked

remove from heat and add small tub (3 1/2oz) half fat creme freche.

I normally eat mine with pasta or bolied potatoes and veg but i think it would be lovely on a jacket potatoe.

I have now lost half a stone....yipeeeee for me!!

If no one wants me to post recepies just let me know....i wont be offended, just thought i would see how it went.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JELLY BOY, they grow up so quickly!

love always


Wednesday, 25 October 2006


I have just found my cathedral cake kit in the has been paid for by paypal...I am so excited...shane is so p****d off with hearing about it lol lol.

so cancel begging journal that i done earlier....lets all celebrate.

who wants to bet that when it comes i dont like it!!!!

shane will brainwash me into liking it!

i'm so excitied i could burst


a quiz

Here is a list of items

1.......a rich tea biscuit

2.......a wooden toy

3.......various coins

4.......scrap of paper

5.......charlies trading cards x2

6.......a toothbrush

can you guess where i have just removed the above from?????????


10points if you guess correctly


can you wait to find out???????


ok keep going down













Bryce has been playing postman grrrrrrrrrrrrr, I for one am not impressed.

but at least now I know how to take a gas fire to pieces and then put it back together again!

If i dont do anymore entries you will know why....i put it back together wrong and it has exploded!

love you


Ok this is a big favour to ask of anyone who lives in the USA.

I have been let down now twice over mt wedding cake kit. first company had it on their site, i ordered it, payed for it online, and then sat back and waited, and waited, and waited.

emailed them....sorry this item is out of stock....thanks for that i thought, dont give up look for it somewhere else.

I do a google and found it again. ordered it, payed online, got a receipt, then an email today to say sorry we need proof that you are who you say you are, drivers licence, passport, so i have lost that one also.

If anyone would be prepared to get me mt cathederal kit I will send the money to them via paypal or anyway they want it.

I know this is a lot to ask, I'm sorry for asking, I am desperate.

here is a link to a few who sell it.


CakeArt Party Store : Categories > Cake Stands/Pillars/Plates/Fountains > Misc. Cake Stand Accessories

Sorry to sound so silly about it all.

love you all loads



Saturday, 21 October 2006

Dont laugh!!

poor charlie has just come and told me he has done a poo and it is bright green.

so i done a google on green poo and now i cannot stop laughing

there is a reason its green

he has been putting loads of blue food colouring on his cereal in the morning, if it means he eats it i'm not bothered about this.

apparently if you consume loads of blue food colouring you get green poo!!

I will have to get him a job on doctor as a zombie child with green poo!!

Bridesmaid dress came this is stunning, loads better than the picture on ebay.

Happy weekend to you all

Love Joanne

ps have had loads of letters from victim support after last friday, to see if charlie is ok.....pity the police havent bothered to come do a statement

Tuesday, 17 October 2006

I got this in an alert....

I can guarentee it definately isnt jordan (katie price) singing this.

I watched the whole of her last series with their wedding. they recorded this for the event and no way did it sound anything like this.

I am a fan of katie's and wish people would give her a break.

Audio me

this is the proper way it should be.....enjoy



have just got back from ipswich

I have got the most beautiful wedding dress!!!!! it makes me look soooooo skinny, which I am not lol. it is all hidden away at mum's now so i dont show anybody. lol

Am not going to tell you what it is like as shane is on aol and might read my journal, but will tell you what its like if you email me!!!

got it for a good price, £250 reduced from £575 so was pleased about that!

shane and I took my mum out for her dinner it was yummy. I had salmon and king prawns, a jacket potatoe and green beans, no dressing or butter! got to watch my weight

hope you are all ok, dont really have anything to report, which means no bad news lol

love you all to bits


Wedding has been uncancelled lol

I am off to ipswich today to buy my wedding dress with mum

found it last week

but cannot remember if i told you or not

I am so excited!!!!!!!

love you all

Charlie is still waiting for the police to come and take a statement from him.....they probably wont bother now!

love you


will do a proper entry later on!

have a good day

Friday, 13 October 2006

I'm taking big deep breaths...i feel like crying

have spoken to mum tonight about what happened. she agree's i should move.

so, tomorrow i have to speak to shane about moving, will have to cancel/pospone the wedding , cant afford to do both. but at the end of the day a fresh start would be a good thing as this house holds so many terrible memory's.

had found my wedding dress today.....they had put it away for me.....will have to cancel that now

the police have just left

charlie has been assulted

his friend came at 5:45 to tell me he was being beaten up at the park down the road.

i dialed 999

i felt so sick as i could hear the police sirens going to find him

he came in at 6

he is so upset, but thank god not hurt

the boy picked him up by the throat and threw him to the floor

police came....are coming back to take a statement from him in a bit.

the little bastard that done it is 10....was the reason i had to change his school before.

I think the boy is psycotic.....I know he is.

his mother is the same...her sister beat me up when i was 17, i had a black face for 2 weeks after that, looked like i had been in a car accident.

will be talking to shane later, will be moving now, dont want to be here anymore

I am so sad.........

Thursday, 12 October 2006

Yes i know 3 entries in a day! wanted you to hear this and tell me what you think.

I am having it at the wedding for definate, possibly just before i enter the church.

listen to the lyrics.

love you all


for my mum.The words are all very true, and how i feel about my mum.

thanks for your help stuart


I have several things to tell you today, so please bear with me.

bethany has her date to go and have her tonsils out, 2nd november. 3 weeks today. 21 days. 504 hours. 20240 i seem nervous....i am trying to breath deeply!! I totally hate it when she has something done in hospital. to date she has been put to sleep 8 times, and no it doesnt get easier. mum is coming to look after me while i try to look after Bethany.

have been to look around Charlies high school for next year. it looks fab, i just hope they let him go. will go look around the school of bullies monday night just incase i dont get him where i want him to go. I was blown away by all the stuff at the school. it is so different to when i went 20 years ago, but seemed the same. there is a corridor in the school that i used to be soooo scared to walk down, it still scared me today, although not quite as much. must make a mental note to not tell charlie about the scary corridor! they had so much state of the art stuff there. he will love it i am sure. they have a special needs lady who i am going to go and see nearer the time of him starting.

I have a new mother lol.

you all know her.....Jan aka serendipidy. She is so lovely to all are. you are like my second family. stuart is dad, jan is mum, jeannette, ally, joyce, jackie and joan you are my aunty's. sara and lise jo my sisters. if anyone else would like to adopt me just let me know!! could do with a nanny and grandad, and maybe an uncle!!

managed to lose 1 1/2lbs this week so lost what i gained last week so hopefully will be back on track.

Bryce is lovely

charlie came home from school yesterday....can i have £160 to go on a school trip mum....try saying please son you may find it works!! lol

i am now off to raid my cupboards for food, wont find anything in them though lol so will have to have a fag instead!

love you all


Friday, 6 October 2006

I love you Stuart

Oh I'm such a happy bride to be......... Stuart....oh Stuart.......

Do you know how much you have done for me.

He only managed to find a website where i could buy my cake church.

I went straight away and got it, was very reasonable, just under £17 which included the post and packaging from the USA.would of cost more than that to buy some flowers to plonk on top!

I totally promise to post pictures of the cake after the wedding.

Its going to be a big secret from both families, as i know for a fact they are going to be blown away with it.

Thanks again Stuart, you are my hero....and tom and Jerry is on again today too....on his website.

big kisses coming your way!!!!!



help needed.

0k here goes. this probably doesnt apply to my friends in the uk as i have never ever seen anything like this before, but you may have the answers in need.

i was browsing on ebay looking for a cake topper, and found myself looking at the american site.

omg....i found the most perfect precious cake topper....i have never ever seen anything like it before in my life, and now unfortunatly i am desperate to have one for the wedding!

so click the link below and please if you can help me to locate one you would truly be making a dream come true for me.

Joyce,Jakie and Lisa Jo in the U.S please please please can you help me...or at least point me in the right direction of where i can get one of these.

Thanks everyone! love you all to bits

eBay: WILTON WEDDING CATHEDRAL CAKE KIT (item 220033543455 end time Oct-06-06 10:52:03 PDT)


Wednesday, 4 October 2006


I managed to gain weight this week. not a massive amount....1-1/2 lbs but i'm still cross about it.

i know why though........I have missed my mum like mad this past week so have been eating rubbish again, crisps, chocolate and sweets, milky coffee's and just junk whenever i can.

I am going to try harder this week or i will look like the above photo!

love you all to bits


p.s thanks for tom and jerry Stuart!!

Tuesday, 3 October 2006

Monday, 2 October 2006

kids ok!

mum and dad back Thursday I cant wait!!!

Diet has been non exsistant this week...think i miss mum.

went to bingo this afternoon with friends.....guess how much i won!!!


not a penny lol!


Do you reacon I have had my 22 points of food for today lol!

had a lovely chat with mother Jan and aunty Ally this morning...we missed you stuart.

PMSL.......ask jan what that means i have been teaching her chat lingo!

Playschool are saying Bryce has very bad speach, sister in law thinks maybe he cant hear properly, playschool agree....{{{sigh}}} will it ever end with these kids of mine!

Hello DAZMONDO if you are reading leave me a comment!

Am now off to have a coffee and a fag and to decide if i should eat tonight (smoked haddock,potatoes and sweetcorn) or just have an early night.

love you all to bits

Saturday, 30 September 2006

I got this in an email today........

omg i thought......

then i read it properly!!!!!


If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do
not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks
within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetises the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms
your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses
subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It
will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
It will drink ALL your beer.
It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting
company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will
leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the
forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill
your skim milk with whole
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so
hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of
you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Send this warning to everyone.
If you are a blonde, this is a joke!!!
THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD Right now, as you read this, 17
Million Americans are having SEX! And look at you - you're on the

Thursday, 21 September 2006

phone rang at 1:15pm yesterday, it was Charlies school........

"Joanne, you have to come to school NOW charlie has had an accident and must go to hospital NOW!!!"

By the time I got there  (5 minutes) i was in hysterics.

There sat my poor boy in server pain holding his arm.

Off we go to hospital, he screamed everytime the car bumped.

"we are not going to look, he needs to go to the main hospital in ipswich for xrays. it looks like he has either broken it or dislocated his shoulder.!

great i thought mum and dad havent even left the bloody departure lounge and things are going wrong.

They put a sling on and gave him painkillers, the sling fell off as soon as he let go of his arm. he felt another pop.

when we got to the main hospital they couldnt find anything wrong, didnt even xray him so i think it was put out but went back in on its own.

He aches this today but will live!

guess how much i lost at weightwatchers!!!!!!!!

3 pounds!

I was so pleased, have been told my bub is looking smaller, so yay for me and my lettuce leaf!

take care everyone

Tuesday, 19 September 2006



Went to the doctors......

Might just as well of stayed home......

Bryce has looks at me!!!!!

Bryce sounds like he has a bad chest....he still just looks at me!!!!!

Bryce still cannot talk. drools constantly we think he might be tounge has a blank expression!!!!!

came out with steam coming out of my ears

was told that if he has a bad tummy its because he has a the doctor deaf? he has had a bad tummy for 6 weeks

he agreed after i reminded him of this fact that maybe it is milk affectinh him so to put him on a dairy free diet...harder said than done. we will work through it

was told that the rattle on his chest, and these are his words not mine, was SNOT ratleing in his windpipe....lovely I thought

as regards to his speech i was told under no uncertain terms that i have no idea what i am talking about.


bryce decided it would be a good idea to poo in charlies hat today as he couldnt make it to the potty quick enough, i can live with that, but i wasnt impressed when he needed to go again and decided to do it on my newly washed and dried WHITE washing. My boy needs his tummy sorted for sure!

phoned hospital up about bethanys tonsils. she will be going in for her op in november if not sooner. will be glad when its done.

Will catch up with you all later

love you all and thanks so much for all your comments and all the support you give me, and all the advice, and all the laughs ( you know who I mean dont you Ally!)

love always



Monday, 18 September 2006

BETHANY........Hospital appointment went ok. nothing to really tell you apart from they are going to ring ENT and try to ask if they can put the tonsil operation forward as they are soooo big and painful at the moment. They refused to give me any medicine to help with the sleep. and seem to think its all connected with the tonsils, and that she might have sleep apnea? ? ? ? i will now go to bed evry night and worry that she isnt breathing :( She gained weight AGAIN!  Don't know what i'm going to do about that. They offered a dietician again, but have seen them so many times there is nothing new they can tell me.

BRYCE..........Will be going to the doctors for sure tomorrow. the boys tummy is a complete mess and I am now going to demend an appointment for him at the hospital (again) to have it sorted. His bum isn't so raw tonight, but who knows what i will find in the morning after a nappy has been on for 11 hours......

CHARLIE.........Has been made vice house captain for his team at school!!!!!! I am so proud of him. He is still awake thanks to the adhd medication, so sara I am with you tonight if Jelly is up!!!

ME.........Have had back ache for 2 days, phoned doctor to see if urine sample was back, oh yes it is, oh no you are on the wrong medication. up to the surgery I go....No prescription for you here, I am told......Doctor must still have why was I told at 10 this morning there was one. Lets hope that by tomorrow I havent got a kidney infection,as i think thats the way its feeling at the moment, as mum and dad are off to cyprus on Wednesday for 2 weeks, and if I am ill there will be no one to help me! please dont say drink makes me gag!

Oh well I think I will go up to bed soon and watch tv.

Night Night everybody

Love you all so much




Sunday, 17 September 2006

so bryce is ill

he has a cough and runny nose...i'm not to concerned with this

the real problem is his tummy

i cannot remember if i have told you before but he had a bad milkalergy when he was a baby, when he had formula it would run out as quick as i put it in.

when he was around 18 months old it seemed to of dissappeared, although he still had a bit of a funny tummy it was nowhere near as bad as it had been.

he has been seen by a pediatrician who said he had toddler diarrohea, and that the child usually grows out of it

for months he seemed better although (sorry to be graphic here) he never done a normal poo. he has in the past few weeks got the problem back again.

it is so frustrating as i have managed to potty train him really well and he has never had an accdent yet, but he has no idea when he is doing a poo.

leave a nappy on i hear you say. tried that and the poo has burnt his bum and bits. at bedtime last night he could hardly walk for the pain on his bum it was so terrible to see him suffer so much.

i will take him to the doctors but am sure they will say go home

Bethany has also got a sore throat. the quicker they get her in and remove her tonsils the better i say, she has an appointment at the hospital tommorow with her peadiatrician so maybe he will be able to move things on quicker for the operation although I'm not holding my breath that this will happen.


love you all







silly entry....these are the important things in my life at the moment.

sunday love to you all

Friday, 15 September 2006

got weighed on wednesday

lost 1lb

fed up

thought i had lost more

never mind

will start to jog!

love you all

Sunday, 10 September 2006

I signed up to do a tribute to a man who died in the world trade centre.

I have honestly looked everywhere i can think of for information about this man....i cannot find any.

I can tell you that his name was Joseph Jenkins Jnr and that he was 47 and lived in New York

He was married.

He actually died in the trade centre so he must of worked there or was one of the many emergency people that rushed to help.

I can remember the day it happened as if it was yesterday....the memory will never leave me.

So I'm truly sorry my tribute isnt very good I would of loved to of made it special...but Joseph Jenkins Jnr I have been thinking about you today and am truly humbled that you had to die so tragically.


2,996 » List of Participants

Saturday, 9 September 2006

so....did you watch eastenders last night (sorry for those not in the uk who dont get it)

Last nights programme was like the memorys that i have after having Bethany. it was almost like watching a video of when she was born, except i'm not honey and kevins not Billy.

I had to sit through 2 visiting times and not be able to say what had happened to the baby as I had my nanna in the afternoon, who was off on holiday the next morning, and nanna and grandad in the evening. It eventually took my dad 6 weeks to tell my nanna and grandad that bethany had downs, as my nanna was very much like me a very emotional person, and even then they were only told as beyhany was being chrisyened and it would of been hard to try and hide it from them at the church and party afterwards.

nanny came straight round the next morning to see bethany for a look! lol. grandad didnt say much. she was the first greatgrandchild on both sides and the first girl on my mothers side since me so she was very special to all my grandparents. mums dad never got to see her.

I think a lot of the problems i had when i had bethany were because it was unnoticed during pregnancy, like honey.

you go through so many emotions all at one, shock, grief, sad, cross and yes happyness!! I did have a lot of that, still do!

When i was pregnant with both my boys i opted to have an amniocentisis. we were told after bethany that as there was no history of downs we were high risk of having another baby with problems. not neccessarily downs but anything chromosonal. Both boys came back as charlie had ADHD butI can live with that. The dilemma i had both times though was what would i do if anything ever came back positive! If i had of got a positive result would that of been fair on me.....or bethany?What if i had of had the tests and lost the baby, that is one of the risks, and it came back as a healty result?

 the night before i went in to have the test with Bryce i sobbed and sobbed to my friend....i wasnt going, i didnt want to know if anything was wrong. eventually after much disscussion she managed to convince me that i was right. I had it done, it was a nightmare much more painful than with charlie. was flat on my back for 36 hours afterwards.

I can honestly say i never ever expected my life to turn out like htis, but it IS getting better. since I have had Bryce my life has had a purpose again.

I want to thank you all for being so patient with me the last couple of days. I havent felt well now for a few weeks now and decided last night that maybe a trip to the doctor is needed to get some lovely prozac again just for a few weeks until i feel calm again. I dont feel calm much at the moment and my sleep is all over the place. will get myself sorted for sure this week.

I would like to wish Jeannette a wonderful birthday today, she was the reason i started my journal, and although sometimes i dont do an entry for a bit, I am always here, and have made some lovely friends, and it is all thanks to her. so you enjoy your day with the family Jeannette and give your boys a big squeeze from me!

Thanks for listening again everybody

Love you all


Thursday, 7 September 2006


I fell apart a bit earlier in my entry.

onlt really wanted to let people know what eastenders was about tonight.

I am sincerly sorry about the entryand i really hope i didnt offend anyone with what i wrote.

yes. I did watch eastenders, funny really as it was so true to life it was like watching a biography, they way she was told

I had a lot of visitors those 8 days in hospital, some just to have a look, some, heartbroken and some that just came because they loved me, this infact carried on for 5 weeks after she was born with barely a day going past without visitors.

Yes bethany is a lovely young girl, and at the moment probably not much different to having a normal girl who's 12 with a changing body and raging hormoans, but it has been hard, and not always a barrel of laughs, but was she was my first born even now i sometimes think "is that normal behaviour" or is it just Bethany being Bethany.

I could tell you such funny things about her, but can also tell you of terrible times, but i think from now on i will concentrate on the happy things and look forward to my baby girl being my bridesmaid, singing out of key at every oppotunity (please not in the church at the top of your voice), and generally having the most gorgeous smile even if i do see it when she is being very naughty!

I have read all your comments, twice, and am still undecided as to weather or not i should keep or delete the entry as when read back sounds as though it was from some deranged mad woman......what do you think?

I will leave you with this thought......bethany has more genes in her than anyone else, which is why the teqnical name for Downs is Trisomy 21, beacuse the set of genes 21 has 3 bits on it as appossed to 2 ( hope that makes sense), so there is more of her for me to love than if she had of been "normal"

Love you all so much.


I had 3 fig rolls instead of the chocolate? not sure if thats ok but it has got fruit in it so it must be a bit better!


Hello everybody

there were a couple of things i wanted to share with you.

1. baby bryce starts proper playschool tomorrow morning. He was going last term but it was only for 2 year olds one afternoon a week. tomorrow he will be with the big boys and girls. I hope he gets on ok. Do you think i will sleep tonight...i think not!

2 If you watch eastenders and dont want to know whats going to happen turn off now. say goodbye, dont read the next bit.........


have you all gone?




Honey and billys baby Janet has got downs syndrome. those of you who have read my journal from the start know how close to home this is for me, as my daughter also has this "condition" I have to be honest never ever got used to the idea that Bethany is "different" to everyone else. I never will Im truly not sure if I should watch eastenders at the moment as it is really going to be hard for me, but on the other hand it is just a tv programme, its not real, all totally ficticious (is that a word?) But i think it is going to open wounds that have never ever healed completely. It could be a good thing though and help with my greiving, yes i know she is 12 but do you ever get over something like that? In a way i know i'm am lucky because you can see she has a problem, even when she was a tiny baby people could see it...hell my whole family could see it before i had even been told and had all talked about it on the way home from the hospital.I resent the fact that i didnt notice it. thought she appeared different because i had such a bad time and she was born with forceps after 37 hours. who would look nice after having big lumps of metal wrapped round their head? I love her I know that, But i really really REALLY resent baby girls. why couldnt my baby girl of been normal????? why didnt the hospital notice anything. they founds several cycsts on her brain when i was pregnant....sent me home for 6 weeks to see what would happen, they dissappeared, I now know they are a poiter to having a chromazone abnormality. I hate the hospital, hate it more than anything. as soon as we step in it i either cry or become very defensive and irrational. I feel like crying

This isnt the sort of entry i normally do.........i always try to be happy. Think i should delete this....might do in a while.

A big sorry now if i have upset anyone.

I do like baby girls really...they just tug at my heart like you couldnt even believe.

sorry for all the spelling mistakes....I have got myself in a state and need a massive HUGH bar of dark 70% chocolate....cant have one.

love always


ps do i look thinner yet? 

Wednesday, 6 September 2006


the subject and mood says it all......

I have joined weightwatchers......

weighed loads more than i thought i would.......

Am so depressed i could eat anything....

resisited the urge....had tomatoes gerkins and ham????? was the only sensible thing i could find in the fridge.

will need to do a massive shop...and buy a steamer lol.

love you all


ps dont even ask what my weight was.....i've seen smaller baby elephants!!!!

Tuesday, 22 August 2006

bloody people!! (but not you lot)

I have managed to have 2 arguments...sorry dissagreements with shane in 2 days.

1 Wedding invitations. we are having them printed with our names and the date on the front. He wanted his name first, said it was traditional. I tried to point out that if they were being sent from my parents my name should be first. I ordered them with my name first..........but put his name first on the order of srevice and napkins.......compromise i think that is called. his mum said he was right my mum said i was right....sigh!

2 His mother has told him that the parents come in the room when you sign the register and are the witnesses. I had already asked him if i could have Clare, matron of honour. He said that was ok as he was having his best man. Now he thinks what his mother says is right and i know nothing, hope this isnt going to be the way the whole time we are married. I told him its silly to even think of our parents being the witneses as there are 4 of them and only 2 can do the would i choose which one???? love both my mum and dad to bits and wouldn't want to hurt either of them by asking the other.

I love Shane, I know that for sure. absolutely. definately, 100%, no doubt in my mind, but whatever his mum says goes as far as he is concerned. I have been telling my mum and as she is very diplomatic she has told me to just smile :).....but i cant. Its winding me up like mad. she has been telling me for ages that the flowers were going to cost her £600. I told my mum, thought she was going to pass out. The price changed quite quickly after i got a quote of £250 maximum, and was told i dont listen properly as that was for the flowers and the photographer.

Am i marrying Shane.....or Shane and his mother, who i love to bits i might add, but she is turning into a wedding control freek. if we ever have a baby I can see my mum and shanes mum fighting on the maternity ward over what the baby should be dressed in!

omg i'm sorry for ranting and raving.

I wish you could all come to my wedding

love you all lots and lots

Joanne Cinderella Wedding Castle Cake Topper (Your Colours) (item 320016319030 end time 21-Aug-06 10:43:25 BST)

go visit this link and you will see what i am hoping to have on the top of the wedding cake. we are having it made in cream with silver turrets and baby blue decoration. might have a glass horse and carriage on it, but definately NO feathers round the bottom!!

Saturday, 19 August 2006

This is the email that i got about the pc from the company who i got it from.

do you agree that its all a bit expensive, £25 for return delivery and probably that much to send it and i've got to buy the pacaging and polystyrene???

Thank you for your email, kindly return the PC along with any paper work, which you may have as well as any CD Drivers that was supplied at the time of purchase. You will need to post the PC to the following address:
Please include a small note describing the fault of the PC along with all your details, including contact number. Make sure you use appropriate packaging and we recommend for you to take out transit insurance.
If you wish for u to send the PC back to you, a cheque for sum of £25.00 will need to be included, made payable to . Alternatively we can contact you once the PC is ready and you can arrange collection. The turn around is within 3 Weeks. 
Many Thanks

Let me know what you all think

Love Joanne



here we go AGAIN

my new pc which i only got in february has broken down....ALREADY

turns on ok, but doesnt seem to send any information to anything, does that make sense?

Shane has brought his pc round for me to use....bless him

Have emailed the man i got the pc from, so far no reply, got it from ebay, does anyone know what i should do if he doesnt reply??

anyway on to nicer things

1 church is booked

2 reception is booked

3 catering is booked

4 disco is booked

5 baloons are booked

6 car is sorted....tell you about that it a minute

7 Shane is booked!

8 photographer is booked

9 flowers are booked

can you think of anything else i need to book!!!!!!

We have been given a brand new BENTLY to go to the wedding in from bet-bet's link family as he is in the car business. so that is something really exciting to look forward to.

found a company yesterday that hire mens outfits for £55!! thats everything. new shirt, which he gets to keep, waistcoat, cravat,even hankie for his pocketso that was anothergood find!!

I hope you have a good weekend and fingers crossed for me with the pc!

love you all loads


Thursday, 10 August 2006



Are you wondering how we got on yesterday??????????

Maybe i should make you stew a little longer..........

I cant help myself.......

I'm so.........


THE MAN FROM DEL MONTY.....(vicar man really!)

HE SAID.......


Its all arranged i'm going to be a Mrs again!

Mum and Dad have been and booked a reception place this morning....and paid for it!!!

I have so many idea's going through my head so i will appologise in all i'm going to tell you about between now and 16th June 2007 (just incase you forgot the date!) is talk wedding talk!

You are all invited. We will have to have a journal reception party!

Love you all to bit's

Joanne.....soon to be MRS!!

Tuesday, 8 August 2006

passing on the word!

Each link goes to a journal that will tell you more about what is happening and how you can get involved.  If for some reason you don't understand something then email the owner of that journal.


he is making a video for everyone to particpate in!!
The above has been copied from Jackies Journal aka hope floats, as she wanted everyone to know about the forthcoming 3rd birthday of J-Land.
So go ahead and copy the above for your journal also if you want to.
Hugs for you all
p.s managed to get a photographer! £350 and we get 80 pics in an album.....BARGAIN....I hope! lol :)