Hello everybody
there were a couple of things i wanted to share with you.
1. baby bryce starts proper playschool tomorrow morning. He was going last term but it was only for 2 year olds one afternoon a week. tomorrow he will be with the big boys and girls. I hope he gets on ok. Do you think i will sleep tonight...i think not!
2 If you watch eastenders and dont want to know whats going to happen turn off now. say goodbye, dont read the next bit.........
have you all gone?
ready?
Honey and billys baby Janet has got downs syndrome. those of you who have read my journal from the start know how close to home this is for me, as my daughter also has this "condition" I have to be honest never ever got used to the idea that Bethany is "different" to everyone else. I never will Im truly not sure if I should watch eastenders at the moment as it is really going to be hard for me, but on the other hand it is just a tv programme, its not real, all totally ficticious (is that a word?) But i think it is going to open wounds that have never ever healed completely. It could be a good thing though and help with my greiving, yes i know she is 12 but do you ever get over something like that? In a way i know i'm am lucky because you can see she has a problem, even when she was a tiny baby people could see it...hell my whole family could see it before i had even been told and had all talked about it on the way home from the hospital.I resent the fact that i didnt notice it. thought she appeared different because i had such a bad time and she was born with forceps after 37 hours. who would look nice after having big lumps of metal wrapped round their head? I love her I know that, But i really really REALLY resent baby girls. why couldnt my baby girl of been normal????? why didnt the hospital notice anything. they founds several cycsts on her brain when i was pregnant....sent me home for 6 weeks to see what would happen, they dissappeared, I now know they are a poiter to having a chromazone abnormality. I hate the hospital, hate it more than anything. as soon as we step in it i either cry or become very defensive and irrational. I feel like crying
This isnt the sort of entry i normally do.........i always try to be happy. Think i should delete this....might do in a while.
A big sorry now if i have upset anyone.
I do like baby girls really...they just tug at my heart like you couldnt even believe.
sorry for all the spelling mistakes....I have got myself in a state and need a massive HUGH bar of dark 70% chocolate....cant have one.
love always
Joanne
ps do i look thinner yet?
7 comments:
Joanne my heart went out to you reading your entry ~ I don't watch East Enders so had not seen this story line ~ I think they are trying to let people understand that these are very special Children born to Special Parents ~ Your Bethany is a beautiful little girl and I know you love her and are proud of her ~ I hope the programme do'es help you ~ not to get over the grief of not having a normal little girl ~ but to know you have a beautiful little girl who just happens to have Downs syndrome ~ Ally
Nathan started nursery school today, cannot believe how quickly the time has gone.
Personally I think Eastenders is being brave and doing a lot of good by tackling a storyline like this. You have been through it, others will be going through it at any time. Anything that helps to lift awareness can only be good. I feel it is helpful to air a subject like this on a programme that has so many viewers and to offer a helpline at the end. I only hope they continue to handle it in a sensitive and proper manner.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/
do you realise just how blessed you are?
Seriously to have such a special daughter?
My Mother worked as a teacher with Down's synfdrom kids for years
My youngest works with them
Her friend is Paula Sage do a google search
I know it is hard...........but truly I envy you............is that so strange?
Ican see how this story can be hard for you ,Bless you ,you cant help how you feel ,we know you love Bethany ,and care for her ,but yes shes your daughter and you are entitled to your feelings and thoughts about it all ,you are very brave for saying what you did ,.,.,.Jan xx
Well, I didn't read the part about Eastenders because I do believe that must be a British Soap, and we don't get it here in the states! But.. I do want to wish you a lovely week, Joanne!! :)
Hugs
Jackie
It's nice to know that you feel you can share how you are feelin' and I have to admit this is an eye opener to me - it's interesting to see how people cope ~ I think you are doing great with bethany!!
We do not get the show in the US...so I really can't comment ...but you have a right to share your thoughts...hope you have a lovely weekend...hugs and love,
Joyce
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