Ok.
I fell apart a bit earlier in my entry.
onlt really wanted to let people know what eastenders was about tonight.
I am sincerly sorry about the entryand i really hope i didnt offend anyone with what i wrote.
yes. I did watch eastenders, funny really as it was so true to life it was like watching a biography, they way she was told
I had a lot of visitors those 8 days in hospital, some just to have a look, some, heartbroken and some that just came because they loved me, this infact carried on for 5 weeks after she was born with barely a day going past without visitors.
Yes bethany is a lovely young girl, and at the moment probably not much different to having a normal girl who's 12 with a changing body and raging hormoans, but it has been hard, and not always a barrel of laughs, but was she was my first born even now i sometimes think "is that normal behaviour" or is it just Bethany being Bethany.
I could tell you such funny things about her, but can also tell you of terrible times, but i think from now on i will concentrate on the happy things and look forward to my baby girl being my bridesmaid, singing out of key at every oppotunity (please not in the church at the top of your voice), and generally having the most gorgeous smile even if i do see it when she is being very naughty!
I have read all your comments, twice, and am still undecided as to weather or not i should keep or delete the entry as when read back sounds as though it was from some deranged mad woman......what do you think?
I will leave you with this thought......bethany has more genes in her than anyone else, which is why the teqnical name for Downs is Trisomy 21, beacuse the set of genes 21 has 3 bits on it as appossed to 2 ( hope that makes sense), so there is more of her for me to love than if she had of been "normal"
Love you all so much.
Joanne
I had 3 fig rolls instead of the chocolate? not sure if thats ok but it has got fruit in it so it must be a bit better!
7 comments:
You leave the entry. You wrote your feeling at that time. Our journals are us for us to write what we want and to vent if necessary. We know you did not mean all you said. Hugs
Please don't apologise for what you write in your journal :-) It's your space and you can write what you feel like - and don't delete the entry - you were only telling us how you feel/felt!! I feel priveligied that you would open up to us like this xx
Jen
As the two Jeanettes just said leave it in there ,you are allowed mixed emotions,your a lovely Mum ,as I'm sure Bethany would be the first to tell us ,and yes any teenager is hard to live with lol bless em! love ya babe ,.,.,.,Jan xx
Hi Joanne :o)
Please don't feel badly about writing your last entry, everyone needs a place to vent once in a while. You will not have offended anyone I promise you, people reading will have a gained a little more understanding of you, your feelings and your situation. I have written entries about my J and deleted them before, many times, lol, so if you feel you need to delete you go ahead. Only if it bothers you that it's there though, not for us, 'cause we like that you can talk to us about these things. You take care, and good luck on your weight loss thingie, not that you need it... the weight loss, not the luck, ugh, you know what I mean ;o)
Sara x
Your earlier entry is well worth keeping!
Don't delete your last entry Joanne it gave me an insight into what you have to deal with ~ You certainly did not offend in anyway whatsoever ~ and this was how you were feeling and it was good for you to write it down ~ and share it with us ~ Ally
Fig rolls .....yuk!!! And they probably had more sugar than the chocolate! I have not commented about your previous entry or this one as there is nothing to comment about! Bethany is your little girl and that is all that matters; you love her and care for her just the same. 'Downs' is a word, a description but not a category (if you get my drift) that someone should be filed under, Bethany is beautiful and please don't delete your entry as you have said what you feel and that's what your journal is for!!! Love to you all, love Joan
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